What Women Want
Earlier, we talked at length about the qualities that women are wired to look for in a man. Now we’ll look at those qualities in terms of how you can incorporate them into your strategy to win back your ex. Specifically, let’s see what you can be doing during your no-contact period to project the qualities that women notice, and are powerfully attracted to.
The number one quality that women want to see is confidence. There are other qualities, too, but they all stem from having confidence. Women are attracted to confidence because that is how they’re wired. We discussed earlier that while we are more civilized now, some “hard-wiring” remain in our DNA from the earliest days of humankind.
Men will always be attracted to women for more physical reasons, with many of us enjoying women with curvy figures. This is because our instinct is to look for a woman that we can reproduce with, and a curvy figure not only looks good, but provides us with a clue that a woman is mature and capable of child-birth.
Women, on the other hand, still subconsciously look for men who can protect them and make them feel safe and secure. They want someone who will lead them, even if they are independent themselves. Sometimes the most independent women crave a strong man the most, because they like to be dominated now and then.
We don’t think it’s fair to say “nice guys finish last,” but we will say that your niceness is what she will notice last. When women think of “nice” guys, they think of weak guys. They think of guys who make great friends, but who they are not attracted to enough to want more from. Does that sound like the way you want her to feel about you? Of course not.
You need to embody strength and confidence. Once you’re able to get her back and re-start the relationship, you can show more sensitivity and be more caring. However, you must never allow the balance to swing so far in the other direction that you become a doormat or someone who constantly lets the woman have the upper hand. Women are not repelled by these types of men.
So what can you do to project more confidence? For one, you need to get out there and socialize with women. Your ex has likely shattered a good deal of your confidence by rejecting you and pushing you away. One great way to get it back is to feel like you are “in demand” again.
How do you get that feeling? By getting out there and experiencing some success with other women. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to start sleeping around. If you’ve been out of the singles scene for a long time, simply meeting some new women through your social circle, and getting to know them, can boost your confidence and make you feel appreciated by the opposite sex.
And of course, if your ex happens to hear that you’ve been out there socializing and meeting (or dating) other women, that works to your advantage. It’s going to stir up feelings of jealousy, and make her remember why she started dating you in the first place. Other women are now recognizing your attractive qualities.
While you won’t hit a home run every time on the singles scene—and your skills might be pretty rusty, if you’d been “off the market” for a long time—these new girls you’re hanging out with are really just practice for your ultimate goal, which is to get your ex back. So don’t sweat it if you go out to meet new women, and some aren’t interested.
Think of it like batting practice. Even if you swing and miss, it’s not the real game, and the outcome isn’t that important. Simply get back in your stance and swing at the next pitch.
It does, however, require some confidence in order to you to start “taking these swings” and working on improving yourself. So how do you get started with confidence building, when you may have very little at this low point in your life?
Well, you know how you have to have experience to get a good job, but you can’t get experience without having had a job? It’s a similar situation here. The answer is to reclaim some of your confidence by doing small things to make yourself feel good. For you, that might mean getting your hair cut, trying out a new style, getting some new clothes, buying new cologne, or getting on a regular workout routine.
Another thing that you can do is aim a little lower than usual when you venture back into the dating scene. of things. Don’t be afraid to lower your standards a bit and start talking to girls that maybe you wouldn’t have in the past. This doesn’t mean you need to start picking up ugly girls at bars. What we want you to do is just talk to women who are likely to appreciate meeting you, so that you can get used to talking to women again and regain some confidence. Remember, this is nothing more than batting practice.
This is also a good time to think about your relationship. Don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on what went wrong. Instead, think about all the things that went right. Remind yourself about the things you did that she liked, or that made her very attracted to you. Remind yourself that this is a girl who wanted you very badly not that long ago.
You can get to that point again. Unlike a random chick at a bar, you know with your ex-girlfriend that she definitely was attracted to you. This means you can make her feel attracted to you again.
Think of the things you know about your ex. What kind of guys was she into? How can you better embody those qualities or specific traits? If there was something about you she liked a lot, accentuate that thing even more. She liked your arms? Hit the bicep curls at the gym. She liked your smile? Use it even more often in your daily interactions.
Your goal is to become an even better version of you.