Women are NOT attracted to the following qualities:
- Nothing is less attractive to a girl (or a guy, if think about it) than someone who is constantly wanting to be at your side, not winning your respect but instead your pity because they seemingly have nothing else to do but hang on you.
- Think in terms of supply and demand. When something is in limited supply, it becomes more valuable. If the supply is infinite, it becomes virtually worthless You take it for granted. This applies to how your ex-girlfriend views you. If you’re obviously desperate to be with her, and want to spend every possible moment with her, you lose value in her eyes. But when she gets the sense that you’ve got a full life without her, and you don’t need her to get by, she sees you as being a “higher value” man.
- A lot of guys incorrectly think that because women like to talk about feelings, and want to hear guys talk about their own feelings, that they have a license to be insecure around women. This is not true. Women still want a man to be a man. This is especially true when you’ve been dumped, and you’re trying to win your girlfriend back.
- Insecurity is a form of weakness, and a sign that you lack confidence. Women, unlike men, are more attracted by qualities and personality than pure physical appearance. In other words, it doesn’t matter if you hit the gym, get a haircut, or buy some new clothes. If you are exhibiting a weak, insecure personality, your girlfriend will not want you back. Instead, she’ll seek a relationship with another man who shows confidence and makes her feel secure when she’s with him.
- We live in a world where men and women are supposed to be treated as equals. Still, there are some characteristics of male and female relationships that remain the same as they have been for years. Women want men who make them feel secure and protected. It’s a holdover that goes back to the caveman days, when women needed to be physically protected by men in order to survive. While that might not be the case now, women still are attracted to strong, independent, masculine personalities, and repelled by men who are insecure and needy.
- Women don’t want to have all the power. They want to have a say in things and they want you to listen to them, but they do not want a little puppy dog that they can order around and get to do whatever they want to do. That’s incredibly unattractive, unappealing and uninteresting.
It’s important to note, however, that you should not over-compensate. Saying that women want a strong, independent man who is sure of himself does not mean that you have to act like a dick around her. Saying that women are not attracted to weakness or insecurity does not mean that you should become a controlling, possessive boyfriend. In fact, being possessive is a major sign of insecurity and weakness. Possessive boyfriends aren’t confident that they can keep their girlfriend around if they don’t monitor or control them. That’s not self-confidence; that’s a deep insecurity.
One other thing: there’s a popular misconception that women are attracted to “jerks.” After all, you’ve seen it, and I’ve seen it: women often do end up with guys who treat them badly, and for some reason the bigger the jerk she is, the more it compels her to stay with him. What we would say to you is that the “jerk” part is not what the woman is attracted to. She is attracted to the confidence and self-assuredness of the jerk. Jerks don’t ask for things, or tiptoe around things.
Now, you do not need to be a jerk to exhibit confidence. In fact, if you can tap into that confidence, independence, and self-assuredness without turning into a jerk, you will have a huge advantage not only over the jerks, but over the “nice guys” who think they are being turned down because they’re “too nice”—when actually, they’re being turned down for coming across as weak, insecure and lacking confidence.