In college, we had large, extended groups of friends we knew through sports and other activities. Some of these friends actually helped us learn a lot about relationships, mostly because we were able to observe their blunders and mishaps firsthand.
One such person was a guy we’ll call Adam (for future reference, all names will be changed in the stories you will read in this book), who had just had yet another breakup with his on-and-off girlfriend, Jenny. These two were the typical hot-and-cold couple that would break up and get back together again at least a few times per year. However, they had maintained their relationship pretty much since high school and both honestly seemed to believe they were destined to be together.
That all changed after what would end up being their final breakup. It turns out that one of their post-breakup arguments got a little too heated, and each one tried to say things to intentionally hurt the other. Adam was a macho kind of guy and his feelings were hurt bad enough that he did something that neither had ever really done- he went out the next night and had a one-night stand with another girl.
Word got back to Jenny, and she decided to retort by going on a date with a guy named Phil who had been into her for a long time, but was stuck in the dreaded “friend zone.” Well, the latest move Adam pulled made her want somebody, anybody who seemed like a “nice guy,” as long as she could get away from Adam’s hurtful antics for a while.
Needless to say, Adam was not happy. When he heard about it, he found out where they were, waited outside of the restaurant for the two of them and confronted them. The situation escalated mostly due to Adam’s own temper, and he started shoving Phil. Jenny tried to break it up and he made a huge mistake—he slapped her, and called her a “slut” for good measure.
Adam did a lot of things wrong during that situation. However, the biggest mistake was letting his emotions get the best of him and doing something you should never do: hitting a woman. What did he get for his trouble? Phil encouraged Jenny to call the cops, and he barely escaped an assault and battery charge. Afterward, campus security forced him to move off-campus because he wouldn’t stop threatening Jenny, and he eventually flunked out and moved back to his hometown.
As for Jenny, she dated Phil throughout the rest of college and ended up marrying him. Not only did Adam pull a real dirtbag move by striking his ex-girlfriend, but he also essentially pushed her right into Phil’s arms, when she normally wouldn’t have even given the poor guy a chance.
The point here is, there are many things you can recover from in order to revive your relationship, but violence towards your ex is not one of them.