Step 1: Identify The Core Reasons
There are two questions you need to answer (be brutally honest with yourself): what was the key reason why she broke up with you, and what was the key reason why she fell in love with you in the first place? Understanding the answers to these questions will help you to implement the Negative Emotion Neutralizer in the most effective way.
Need a hint? The #1 reason why women break up with men is that they don’t feel secure in the relationship. Women are hard-wired to want to be with men who demonstrate leadership qualities. (Or “Alpha Male” qualities.) They feel safe and secure knowing they’re with a guy who has his life together—who has goals, passions and ambitions beyond being in a relationship.
On the other hand, one of the greatest “turn offs” for women in a relationship is feeling that they’re with a guy who is incapable of living or functioning without her. While the notion of “loving someone so much you can’t live without them” might sound gushy and romantic, in reality, it’s the sign of an incredibly needy person. And neediness is one quality you must absolutely banish from your personality in order to attract your ex back. It’s the ultimate “attraction killer.”
I’ve received a lot of emails from guys who desperately want advice on how to get back with their ex-girlfriends, and I hear the same story over and over again: they “don’t know why” their girlfriends dumped them. “One day she just started acting weird and not returning my calls.”
But when I ask them questions about the nature of their relationship, and probe deeper, I often find out that the guy was needy. He allowed his entire life to revolve around the relationship. These guys make the mistake of thinking, “In order to make a woman want to date me, I’ve got to convince her that I’ll put her first, no matter what, and give her every ounce of my attention.”
At first, a woman might be flattered by this type of “laser focus” from a guy. But over time, she’ll start to rebel against it. A woman’s primary need is to feel safe and secure, and when you’re constantly showing how badly you need HER (as if without her, your life will fall to pieces), it makes her feel uncomfortable.
Women are attracted to men who know how to handle themselves, who don’t NEED a woman to “complete them” or help them keep their life in order. She knows this type of guy will be able to protect her and take care of her emotionally.
This is hugely important to women, so ask yourself: were your own insecurities a reason why your ex’s attraction to you might have cooled off?