Question and Answer #24

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“Dean, I feel like my standards are too high. The thing is, I’m honest with myself and I’m not really a great looking guy- I’m just “okay”. That’s fine, I’m not self-conscious about it, but I DO think it is limiting my chances with women.

See, since I have high standards, I’m not willing to bother with women that are verweight, plain looking, or just don’t strike me right away as really sexy. I know that sounds awful, but I’m just being honest. Even when I have a dry spell, I’m not willing to temporarily lower my standards.

At the same time, I feel like women who I’m attracted to know how attractive they are and knowt hey can do a lot better appearance-wise than me.
See my problem?

Ben”

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Ben,

High standards can make things more difficult, sure. I’m going to go on a limb and guess you aren’t living in L.A. or Miami or somewhere else where amazing looking women are found up and down every street and packing every bar.

In that case, you need to remember that your looks likely have less to do with your success or lack of success than anything. Remember man, women are into confidence, power, dominance and control. You can show those things just as well as any other guy who has better muscles, six-pack abs or the face of a male model.

It can be easy to scapegoat your appearance or other things you can’t change very easily when things aren’t going well, but as a true Mack you have to know that there’s more to it than that.

The Negotiator and I have turned many guys who were not considered “attractive” by usual standards into very successful guys on the singles scene.

Hell, we’ve all seen beautiful women walking around with guys that didn’t look that great and thought, “How’d he pull THAT off?”

You know how? By not walking around feeling like he didn’t DESERVE to have a girl like that.

In your e-mail you say that you can understand that women know they can do better. To me, that shows that you don’t feel like you deserve a hammer. That’s no mentality to have and it’s  going to come through as a lack of confidence when you approach women.

Take care of your confidence and convince yourself that you are worthy of the hottest chicks at the bar, club, or wherever else you are, and things will go much better.

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