Question and Answer #14


I’ve got a crazy situation. I have a friend who my ex andI used to hang out with all the time when he was dating this girl Cecelia that he’s no longer with, either. Well,I thought there was always a little tension there between me and his gf but I would never pursue it, being a good friend.

At about the same time, both of us ended up broken up with our girlfriends. Then, not long after, I found out that my friend had done stuff with my ex, even though during a couple of conversations over the years I’ve mentioned that I’m not cool with friends dating ex gfs.

So, now I’ve been wanting to get him back. I know I can get with Cecelia, but she isn’t responding like I thought she would. Now, I’m realizing that I’m not just into her for revenge, but also because I really do like her. Still, why am I not making progress with a girl that clearly likes me?

I even laid it out for her and told her I liked her (I didn’t know if she knew or not, maybe that was the problem) and told her I wanted to start seeing each other. She said she is going through a weird time and wasn’t sure, and we didn’t talk much about it since.

There’s been sexual tension- backrubs, going out clubbing and dancing, stuff like that. How do I take this to the next level?


Dean Cortez’s Answer


First of all, your friend sounds like a dirtbag.

We won’t focus on that, though. Remember that with M.A.C.K. Tactics, we focus on our own strengths and not talking crap about other guys.

The problem I see here is that you seem a little too eager, maybe because of the revenge angle.

I wouldn’t ever put a proposition to her in such an obvious way like you did, because you gave her a basic “yes or no” scenario instead of using suggestions and moving forward more naturally. You’re also conceding power to her by saying basically, “I want this, but I need your final approval. You can decide what we do or don’t do.”

I think you just need to build the tension that’s there, keep using your I.O.U.s and other Tactics,  keep using bodily contact and staying out of that deadly friend role, and things will work fine. Make sure you’re not trying too hard and forcing things. Take your time if you have to, especially if you like her.