Phase Three: Challenge Her & Use Push-Pull
You MUST shift gears and go to this next step. Phase Two is a comfortable place to be…bonding, sharing, talking about cool stuff you’ve got in common. But in order to make her feel attraction, you need to demonstrate that you’re a high-value guy who isn’t sure if she’s up to your standards.
Women want what they can’t have. They love a guy who is a challenge.
This is very important to remember in regards to re-attracting your ex, which we’re going to get into a bit later. If she knows she can always have you, and you really don’t have any other dating options, she won’t value you. But if she knows you’re a guy who is “in demand” (i.e. other women find you attractive), and you make her jump through a few hoops to get you back, you’ll become the PRIZE she desperately wants to win.
This is why Phase Three is about displaying a bit of “cocky confidence” and making this new woman you’re talking to feel she’s going to have to work to get a guy like you. It won’t be so easy.
This step is also about injecting some sexual energy into the interaction. Linger too long in Phase Two, and you could wind up in the Friend Zone—she thinks you’re a nice guy, but she doesn’t feel any desire to have sex with you. This is where you build sexual tension and sexual chemistry.
Here are some ways to Tease women:
Mention how you two could never date.
“You’re pretty cool, Susan, but we could never be boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re way too much alike. We’d probably clash all the time, and then have crazy make-up sex and wake up all the neighbors…and then we’d break up again the next day and you’d throw all my clothes out on the front yard…it would be hot, but a lot of drama.”
“It’s too bad I swore off dating girls like you…”
“You’re not really my type, but for some reason I find you sort of interesting.”
“You’re such a sweet girl—you probably shouldn’t hang out with a guy like me. I could get you in all kinds of trouble.”
“You’re so nice…seriously, though, you should probably be talking to a nice boy like the one over there (point to some dorky-looking dude). I’m more like the guy your mom warned you about.”
Put her in the Friend Zone. This one is super powerful because it reverses the normal roles—usually it’s women who put guys in the Friend Zone, right? But you can do it to her…
“You’re like the little sister I never had.” (Or, “You remind me so much of one of my little sister’s friends.”) I can tell you’re a really good friend to have.”
Accuse her of hitting on you. If it’s time to get her a drink—or she offers to buy you one—say, “Okay, one drink, but promise you won’t try to take advantage of me.”
Or, “It’s going to take more than a drink to get me into bed. I expect dinner and a movie at least.”
If she touches you, you can say “Hey, hands off the merchandise. That’ll be twenty dollars.”
Employ her/fire her: “I’m hiring you as my personal assistant.” Or, “I’ve always thought that my life would make a great book. I’m hiring you as my personal biographer. I’ll pay you whatever you want.” (If she knows how to build websites, make her your website developer. If photography is one of her hobbies, she’s now your personal photographer. Or your chef. Or personal trainer…or life coach…)
Then, when she does something dorky or gives a lame answer to one of your questions, you “fire” her: “That’s it—you’re fired. Tell the girl over there in the red dress she can submit her resume.”
Use the point system. “Okay, I’m going to ask you something but be careful how you answer, because this answer is worth ten points….”
If she answers “correctly,” tell her she has earned ten points and if she gets up to fifty points she wins a bonus. This can now be a theme that runs through the conversation. Deduct points for lame answers. Award points for good ones. You’re building compliance and sending a message: it’s her job to impress you, not the other way around. You’re making her want to earn your approval.