Is She Doesn’t Reply…
If your initial text or email doesn’t get a reply from her, don’t panic. Keep in mind, she could be busy with a million different things. You just don’t know.
Maybe she didn’t get right back to you right away because…
• She’s having a stressful day
• She’s traveling somewhere
• She has no phone reception or Internet connection at this time (hey, technical glitches happen!)
• She’s dealing with a family problem
• She’s got a bad cold, and she’s in bed and not answering messages
There could be any number of other reasons. Like I said, you really don’t have any idea, so never panic or feel offended if someone doesn’t shoot a reply right back to you. In this post-breakup period, people put themselves through all kinds of unnecessary emotional trauma simply because they didn’t get an instant reply to a message!
So if she doesn’t respond, post another picture of yourself on your Facebook profile that shows you in a good light. If your last picture showed you with another woman, try posting a picture that shows you with some of your buddies, enjoying an activity. (Outdoor activities are especially good.) You don’t want to keep posting pictures of you hanging out with women (or hanging out in bars). Mix it up. Assume your ex is seeing all of these pictures and looking at them closely. Show her that you’re enjoying life on multiple levels.
For Long Distance Relationships: Clearly, you can’t send her a casual invite to grab some food or a cup of coffee if you don’t live anywhere near your ex. I wouldn’t advise you to travel a great distance just to have one of these “casual” meetups with your ex, in the hopes that she’ll realize she wants to get back together with you. (“Hey, it just so happens I’m flying to your city next Saturday! I’ve got some fun news to tell you, let’s grab coffee!”) The only exception to this would be if you have a legitimate “other reason” to visit where she lives (i.e. you used to travel there for business, or you have a friend or family member who lives there).
In the case of long-distance relationships, I suggest you sort things out with her over the phone, or through emailing and instant messaging, and establish that you are both interested in getting back together before you arrange a meetup. Follow the “rules of contact” I explained earlier. A few friendly back-and-forth emails or Facebook messages can lead to longer chats.
Just don’t give her the sense that you’re completely available to talk to her all the time. This is a common trap that guys fall into—every time the girl wants to chat on Facebook or Yahoo! Messenger, he drops whatever else he’s doing and eagerly chats with her for as long as she wants. What does it say about your appeal as a man, if you never have anything better to do with your evenings?
Remember how we talked about “Push-Pull” earlier. Humans are wired to want what they don’t have. You can’t make this too easy on her, even if she’s already showing signs that she might want to date you again.
If you do reach a mutual decision to give things another try, then by all means, take a trip to see her—or invite her to come see you. You should be in for a fun reunion at that point.