Learning to Stay Away
This step is the most difficult for most guys to get the hang of. When you suddenly get dumped, there are a lot of things you want to do. You want to get answers. You want to talk it out. You want to see your girlfriend again. You want to fix everything as fast as you can.
The one thing you definitely don’t feel like doing is staying away from her.
However, there are numerous examples out there of guys sabotaging their own chances of getting back together with their girlfriends because they simply could not stay away from them. They drive past their ex’s house. They call or text her phone incessantly. They monitor her Facebook page or Twitter account. They try to get information from mutual friends. They find ridiculous reasons to “run” into their ex’s, leading to awkward encounters.
I’m telling you now: if you follow every other guideline and tip in this book, but do not stay away from your girlfriend for at least three weeks, your chances of getting your girlfriend back are extremely slim. Being able to “stay away” is absolutely critical right now.
Remember how I talked about how emotionally raw you are during this stage? How you are feeling angry, sad, confused? Is that the recipe for the best version of you? If you had never met your ex before and you were approaching her now for the first time, would you want to do it with your current mindset?
Even better, put yourself in her shoes. If you were approached by someone who was upset or angry with you and wanted to drag back up a bunch of old crap, make you feel guilty, or argue with you about the past, would you look forward to that conversation? Would you think to yourself, “Wow, I’m really missing out here! What am I not doing with him?”
Of course you wouldn’t. Your ex likely feels the same way.
We don’t expect you to do anything without first knowing “why,” though. So let me give you some solid, indisputable facts that lead to the reasoning behind not contacting your ex right now.