If you’ve done everything that I instructed you to do up to this point, you should be buzzing with a level of confidence you haven’t felt in a while. The really hard work is done. If you’ve made it through the No Contact period and you’re feeling good about yourself, you’re in a strong position to win her back. Just remember, if you initiate contact too soon you will reduce (and possibly ruin) your chances of this happening.
Keep your eyes on the prize. You want your girlfriend back? You have to do things the right way. This is a proven method that has worked many times for others in the same situation that you’re in. If you handled the no-contact phase correctly and did all of the previous steps, and she contacts you after a decent amount of time in the No Contact zone, you are ready to begin winning her back for good. And if she doesn’t reach out and contact you during the No Contact period, then it’s time for you to take action.
Re-Initiating Contact And Re-Igniting The Romance
I’m going to assume that during the “No Contact” period, your ex has not been contacting you. And now, you’ve made the decision that you do want to give the relationship another try.
So how do you reach out to her? How should you make the first move?
Before you do this, ask yourself two questions. And if you’ve already asked yourself these questions, do it one more time and be completely honest with yourself:
Do you truly love this woman and believe he’s the right man for you to commit to—or are you just bored, or sick of being single? Don’t try to re-start the relationship unless you’re positive you’re still into her (and for the right reasons, not just because you’re lonely and horny!)
Second, ask yourself this: was your past relationship with her healthy? It’s much easier to recall all of the great things about a girl (especially the sex) than to reflect on the bad stuff.
Only if your answers to both of these questions are “yes” should you go ahead and reach out to her.
And here are a few more questions to consider. If the answers to any of these questions are “yes,” you’re probably not ready to try to re-start the relationship.
• Are you still having trouble eating, sleeping or working because you’re always thinking about her?
• Are you constantly checking your phone, email or Facebook to see if she’s tried to contact you?
• Do you still have strong feelings of anger or resentment towards her?
• Is there a chance that you’ll emotionally “lose it” if you contact your ex girlfriend, and she doesn’t want to speak to you?
Again, if you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you might need a bit more time before you contact her. You’re still emotionally vulnerable. If you approach her in this state, it will be obvious to her that you’re not “over” the breakup and your goal is to try to get back together with her. (Even though this is true, you don’t want her to know this.)