If your girlfriend recently broke up with you, you’re probably feeling blindsided right now. This is probably the most common response when someone is on the receiving end of a breakup. When you’re completely surprised by something, there is shock and disbelief to deal with. But we’ll assume that since you’re reading this book, you’ve managed to recognize that the breakup really did happen, and now it must be dealt with.
Still, feeling shock and surprise is a lot different than some of the other, more troublesome emotions you will have to deal with. One of the initial feelings you may experience is anger. Why would you not feel angry, after all? This is someone who you trusted, who you had a relationship with, and all of a sudden, you’ve been told that it has come to an end. That’s a recipe for anger if there ever was one, and anger is a very difficult emotion to handle.
The rejection that you feel when someone breaks up with you only intensifies feelings of anger. It never feels good to be rejected—whether you were picked last in gym class, cut from the basketball team, or given the cold shoulder by an attractive girl at the bar. When a girl that you were really into breaks up with you, the feeling of being rejected is much more intense than in those examples, of course.
There are a lot of other factors within the breakup that can amplify your feelings of anger. If there is another guy involved, even the most well-composed individual can become extremely jealous. And jealousy only leads to more anger. The only thing worse than being without the girl you want (and up until recently, had) is knowing she is with some dirt bag. This can be enough to make even the calmest guy want to flip out.