Becoming “The New You,” Version 2.0
In the software world, when a program is improved in some way, it becomes a different version. The original version is version 1.0. Changes and improvements result in version 1.1, 1.2, and so forth. A radically different, much-improved version results in a whole new number, such as version 2.0, 3.0, and so on.
You can probably guess where I’m going with this. We don’t want you to simply brush up on a few things, get a new haircut, do some sit-ups, and call it a day. You’re going to take this opportunity to not only improve yourself, but change yourself in certain ways.
This “No Contact” period is a chance to not only reset your relationship, but also to change yourself. Even if you don’t succeed in getting her back, or if you do succeed and it ultimately still doesn’t work out, this experience has to be a positive one that leaves you better off than before.
Get a bit of an attitude, if it helps you: “You know what? Screw her! If she doesn’t need me, I don’t need her. If I do all of this and she still isn’t interested, I’ll get someone even better than her!” That’s the kind of outlook that will see you through this whole process, especially early on when you are feeling extremely hurt. As time passes and you start to get over the sting of the breakup, you should let go of a lot of that bitterness—but for now, let it work for you, if you want.
Like a kid who transfers to a new school, you now have an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Even the best relationships often constrain our ability to grow and change, since the other person may resist changes in us, without us even noticing. Now, you are completely free to try some new things and improve yourself as a person.
In terms of this book, though, we will obviously focus on improvements and changes that can lead directly to your winning back your ex-girlfriend.