A Little Help From Your Friends
You may have heard from others that it’s best to work through the pain of a breakup alone. In reality, that is very far from the truth. While you obviously do not want to rely on your ex to help you get through the breakup, you will definitely benefit from some sort of support system. This is where your friends come in.
Hopefully, during your relationship you weren’t one of those guys who forgot that his friends existed in favor of spending every minute with your girlfriend, like a well-trained puppy dog. If you were one of those guys, you have some work to do. Your friends may be more likely to joke at your expense, ignore your calls, or tell you that you are better off without her than anything else. In that case, apologies are in order.
Furthermore, as we will talk about in a later chapter, your attachment to your girlfriend may have not only harmed your friendships, but it also could have been one of the causes (if not the cause) of your breakup. If so, you’ll want to make amends with your friends as soon as possible. Right now, you’re going to need them.
Friends will help you in a number of ways. For one, they won’t tolerate your crap. This is more important than you may think. Your real friends will tell you that you’re wasting time feeling sorry for yourself. They’ll drag you out of the house for some social interaction when you would rather waste away and watch reruns on TV. In short, they will make sure that you become you again.
That is important, because if you want to get your girlfriend back, you will need to be not only the normal “you,” but an even better version. She won’t have any incentive to get back with you if you’ve been wasting your time moping around at home for weeks, or months.
Furthermore, your friends may be willing to listen to you talk about what you’re going through. Some of your friends obviously won’t be ideal for this—we all have friends who are fun to have some beers with, but aren’t interested in talking about touchy-feely stuff. You should have at least a couple of friends, though, who can understand and empathize with what you are going through.
That’s good, because you will need to use them as a sounding board to get some of those thoughts out into the open. Again, without this option, you may break down and end up dialing up your ex, which is the best way to ensure that you don’t win her back.
Any way you slice it, your friends should be your support system through this time. Whether you feel like being around other people or not, you need to maintain some kind of connectedness with the outside world, and hanging out with your friends is probably the best way to do that.