7 Animal Inspired Sex Positions

7 Animal-Inspired Sex Positions

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Intellect and opposable thumbs are pretty much what separates humans to animals however we share a distinct similarity, namely both of us get that horny feeling. The smell of an ass in heat gets both humans and animals in a frenzied state and gets us to do extraordinary things at all costs to deposit a load into a steaming hot hole. Another shared trait between humans and animals are the sexual positions we use to achieve this goal of natural juice deposition. This article isn’t about the infamous woman-and-dog or woman-and-elephant viral videos we’ve all seen in college during the mid-90s when AOL was still the number 1 internet service provider. Here we list the 7 animal-inspired sex positions that we have learned from our furry friends:

The Cat

The Cat
“The man lies on top in the same way as the normal missionary position and enters the woman, but then he moves his body up the woman slowly, until he’s as high as he can get without hurting himself. Then, instead of thrusting, he grinds into you slowly in small circles. This is great for the woman, because her clitoris is being stimulated by the base of his penis.”

“This position is also known as the Coital Alignment Technique (where the cat name comes from).”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:
Basically, you rub your dick up n down her clitoris while maintaining close body contact like a cat rubs itself onto you when the bitch is hungry.

The Kneeling Fox

The Kneeling Fox
“You get on your hands and knees and lean forward on your arms while resting your ass on your feet. He kneels, grabs hold of your waist and enters you from behind.”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:
Very popular with Japanese porn, this is a male-dominating position since you can grab both her arms at the elbows from behind and thrust her towards you in rapid-fire motion and leave her in tears from the pain.

The Spider

The Spider
“Start with her sitting facing and astride him. The the woman lies back, followed by the man until each partner’s head in between the other’s legs. Then each partner can bring their knees up and hold onto the other’s legs. Now all you need to do is slow, wiggling movements to keep each other aroused for a long time.”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:
This position is great for when both of you are too drunk of high to move thereby fading into sleep while at least still feeling the pussy. Also great for when you mistakenly got a Thai lady-boy but realize it’s too late to send her/him away so might as well do it without looking at him/her and feeling guilty about it.

The Galloping Horse

The Galloping Horse
“The man sits on a chair with his legs outstretched in front of him. You climb aboard and stretch your legs out straight behind him. He clings onto your arms and you lean back holding on to him for support. You’re in control, so then push back and forth on top of him as fast or as slow as you like.”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:
A crowd favorite, the Galloping Horse offers deep penetration and will make you blau fast. The position is very visual having full view of the bouncy tits and her fuckface.

The Tortoise

Tortoise

“Lay flat on the bed, face down and let him straddle you from behind. You should be able to feel the pressure of his body weight on your buttocks and hips. Your legs should be straight and closed, so that when he enters you from behind, it’s a tight squeeze.

Make sure you have something to grip onto, like the top of the mattress, because although the thrusting should be slow and smooth, The Tortoise is designed for deep penetration so the thrusting may be hard as well.

Your movements should become synchronised, this means that as he moves forward to penetrate deeply, move your body backward to increase the intensity of the sex.”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:
Great for shy girls or for a good ol’ rape session, but if you’re a fat fuck you might crush her to death.

The Bouncing Bunny

“He lies on his back with his legs together. You squat astride him and lower yourself onto him, keeping your back straight so that you are at a 90 degree angle to him. You hold his hands for balance. Once you are in position you lightly bounce up and down, grounding your pelvis against his.”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:

The Sloth

“He stands on his hands and knees and you wrap your arms and legs around him so that you’re hanging like a sloth off a branch.”

MACK Lifestyle’s Interpretation:

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